Expectations.
As far as I can go back in my life, I have always been someone who found joy in the littlest of things, the kinda person whose mood is affected by the slightest of disruption in her environment. So eventually when things don’t turn out the way I plan I get hurt, more than I should. I am a highly emotional person, I tend to overthink and over expect from life and people. However, recent incidents in my life have made me realize that you only get hurt if you hope for something in the first place.
I tried to think about all the past incidents and scenarios in my life where I ended up being disappointed or heartbroken because of people or something that didn’t turn out the way I expected it to. For example, not being shown grand gestures on my birthday, my boyfriend not understanding when I am mad (when I gave him no signs whatsoever) or me not getting the job location I wanted. All these were really trivial things which a normal person should let go of, because other people can’t read my mind. I somehow expected other people to think like me which is simply absurd. There are a thousand more moments like these which only made me feel unhappy. I ended up breaking my own heart.
If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed.
The above quote is as old as time but I am realising it’s true meaning now. Something needs to change within me, I need to set the bar low.. be less of a planner and learn to live life as it comes.
I wasn’t too immature, but oftentimes when something good happens to us we do expect better things to come to us, and that’s what happened to me. I was happy, I thought I was getting way more than I deserved and I was over the moon. And over time, I realized I was being unreasonable. I started believing that I can never have a rainy day. But rainy days do come, I do not need to expect or wait for the next day to be sunny I simply need to be prepared to face whatever comes my way.
So whether I have a good day or a bad one, I am not gonna worry myself too much, I am gonna try and start living life one day at a time. I am gonna set my expectations bar low and my head held high. Make my skin a little thicker and my planner a little thinner.
